Things I want to do before I'm 40

1. Faint. It's true, I've never fainted. I want to faint from some form of drama, not illness, which would be a downer. But faint from winning the lottery, getting a truly coveted grant, and/or the Oscar (would I be the first Oscar fainter?). Maybe seeing an immaculate conception and birth. That'd be a cool faint thing. Oh! And seeing God. Old Testament God, of course. The "God's in everything" God isn't quite for fainting. Because then I'd faint so often (seeing flowers, puppies, babies, the sun, the moon, etc) there'd be a debate on whether my quality of life is high enough to even live. I would need a burning bush telling me to kill something. Now THAT is worth fainting for!

2. Slap a man in the face. No man has disgusted me in person enough to warrant it. Or I've had a comeback. Or (and this is the worst) I don't realize the true quality of the offense at the time and think of it hours later when the man is gone. But I so want a moment where a man says something, I react in the moment with a gasp and a slap in the face. Well aimed, too. Nothing more embarassing than missing the whole cheek and scratching a nose.

3. Be in on some good Hollywood gossip. All my gossip reiterates some bigger gossip, so it's never an "oooooh" maker. No "he's an alcoholic" or "she's gay" gossip. Real stuff film noir is made of. True murder and mayhem gossip.

4. Save a life. I mean like save. a. life. Wouldn't that be awesome?

5. Find myself an unexpected superhero. You know, like suddenly find a cape and boots and when I put them on, I'm not only hot, I can fly.